Tomorrow morning I will be losing an organ to help improve my health. I have been feeling a plethora of emotions regarding this situation, but there’s only one I’m going to address right now.
A few weeks ago I altered my diet, which has enabled me to feel a lot better; however, it has also caused me to shed some inches. And if I am going to be completely honest – I’m not all that happy about it.
When I was 11-years-old I was larger than most of the girls my age, and as I’ve shared before, I felt awkward and unattractive during the majority of my adolescent years. I distinctly remember a comment that was made about the size of my thighs when I was in Middle School. It happened during English class which was taught by one of my favorite teachers, Mr. Joseph Jira.
The person who made the comment said inappropriate things to me often – usually about my breasts, so when he said, “David and I were talking about you big body part,” I assumed he was referring to my chest, but he informed me he was talking about my thighs. The comment intensified my feelings of inadequacy and it chipped away at my already low level of self-esteem. Be that as it may, I have learned to love and accept my appearance over time. Furthermore, I have encountered suitors who find every part of me attractive, which brings me to the title of this post.
I had a conversation with one of my aforementioned suitors about the likelihood of me losing weight after surgery – well, he was actually alluding to the possible loss of my butt. And now that I think about it, I’m not sure which one of us is more bothered by this viable occurrence.
When I realized my booty could diminish in size – I was saddened, and the lyrics to a very familiar song popped in my head.
“…You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don’t lose that butt…”
I even started bargaining over which part of me I wouldn’t mind shedding instead of my derrière, and I immediately thought of my thighs. But to my astonishment, I didn’t like that either. Then it occurred to me that I have reached a new level of self-love and acceptance. I truly like what I see and I have no desire to change it.
I realize my health is more important than how well I can fill out a pair of jeans. However, I believe I can have a big booty and a healthy body too. But to be on the safe side, I plan to consume a lot of potatoes and gravy once I’m back on solid foods.
Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.
Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.
– B.B.
Attribution: Baby got back by Sir Mix-a-lot
Written by: Anthony L. Ray
Label: Def America
