The above question entered my mind back in 2017 when I wrote a post for the Curvy Style blog. The aforementioned contribution was about my thoughts surrounding diversity in plus-size modeling. I challenged the push for diversity as a necessity and questioned if it is time to look within for acceptance.

I was hesitant about writing this post. I wondered if it would be controversial—or quite frankly—too risky; which, is probably why I hadn’t written it. But where is growth in playing it safe?

After posting the article in 2017, a reader submitted the following comment:

“How do you accept yourself if you don’t see others as you represented? When plus-size women aren’t represented, the message is that we don’t matter. It is time for that message to change.“

If my ability to accept myself is dependent upon seeing someone who looks like me being embraced by the masses, isn’t the focal point of social acceptance? If I am looking for someone who is like me that has been accepted to validate whether or not I am enough, have I truly accepted myself, or have I just assumed validation by proxy? And if I do view their acceptance or validation as mine, and they fall from grace, where will that leave me?

Five years ago, the first DOSBB blog post was published, which encompassed my plan to write about shopping and encouragement for the plus-size consumer. Over the years I’ve written posts related to clothes and shopping; however, the majority of the thoughts I’ve shared have been geared toward self-love and self-acceptance. I believe it is apparent that I am an advocate for self-acceptance. I don’t see social acceptance as a necessity. But why?

I’ve come to terms with the fact that everyone is not going to accept me as I am. There are people on this earth who will never embrace me simply because I was born a black person. There are people on this planet who will never view me as beautiful because my skin is dark. Some people will never see me as their equal because I am a woman. Some people will never view me as acceptable because I am overweight. And as unfair or cruel as it may sound, it is the truth. This truth is precisely why I choose to love and accept myself and not depend on society to validate me. If I rely on others to make me feel like I’m enough, how will I stand when I face those who don’t?

My realities are the driving force behind my stance. I don’t expect to be accepted. Why should I? It isn’t a requirement. So why are there some who view social-acceptance as if it is expected or even required?

Just a little something to ponder.

Until the next time be you—and more important—love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

– B.B. 💋