A few months ago, I wrote a blog post addressing my plus-size privilege and I received a bit of criticism for it. Although I earnestly believe we are all entitled to our opinions, I was a bit taken back by it. Be that as it may, I’m going to continue to be me unapologetically. So, here’s another post addressing my plus-size privilege.
I debated over finishing this post. I started writing it when I returned from my trip to New York City (NYC) in September. I wondered if I lost the effect of timeliness—and I was being lazy—but the more I thought about it, I realized there’s no time limit for sharing experiences. In addition to my realization, I saw something on social media that nudged me to finish it.
What I read doesn’t speak about anything related to the plus-size community per se, but it does address privilege, which is the focus of this post. Like most things I read on social media, I don’t agree with what was stated in its entirety. In my humble opinion, the author could have benefited from reviewing the definition of the word “privilege” prior to writing about it.
The word “benefit” means advantage and it is actually a synonym of “privilege,” which basically makes the two words the same. Having said that, I agree that it is harder to recognize our privilege than it is to see our obstacles. Notwithstanding, there is another part of the social media post that I have a hard time grasping.
How can one “focus on what you don’t have to go through” if you don’t recognize you have privilege? I could be wrong, but doesn’t it need to be brought to our attention? Otherwise, isn’t it “normal” to us? These two points bring me to the main purpose of this post.
As I stated earlier, I visited NYC a few months ago and I had a blast! I took the train into the city and explored the Big Apple. I went to Bryant Park because—well, that’s my name! I also went to Macy’s, Ground Zero, Fifth Avenue, Rockefeller Center, Times Square, and the American Museum of Natural History—which was beyond amazing!
My bucket list for my excursion through the city that never sleeps also included seeing “Wicked” on Broadway and beholding the Statue of Liberty.
I enjoyed a tasty Caesar salad with grilled salmon at the Bryant Park Grill on their outdoor patio. I had a wonderful time chowing down on spaghetti and meatballs at Carmine’s, where the customer service was superb. I also had a great meal and matched service at Jacob’s Pickles. But it wasn’t until I indulged in some delicious chicken and waffles and an overpriced glass of pineapple juice during brunch at The Blue Dog Cookhouse and Bar, that I was reminded of some “obstacles and barriers” I face and some that I don’t. But in addition to that, I recognized that my “non-obstacles” are a hinder to someone closer to me than I realized.
The Blue Dog Cookhouse and Bar has a cool vibe; however, it doesn’t seem to accommodate all bodies. While I was waiting to be seated, I hadn’t given any thought to where I’d be sitting. Meaning, I wasn’t concerned about whether or not the venue was “plus-size friendly” until we started heading to the table.
As I approached the table, I was reminded of those small-ass tables at the Cheesecake Factory. And you guessed it, I was seated by the window, which is indicated in the photo above. The area was empty when we sat down, so I wasn’t worried about knocking over a glass or grazing a stranger’s shoulder with my bodacious booty. But that feeling of relief was short-lived once parties were seated to my left and right.
While I ate my food, I was engaged in an interesting conversation with my travel partner and friend, but I was also growing concerned about what could potentially happen once the meal was over. Would we be finished before either of the parties next to us? I was honestly worried about making the strangers next to me uncomfortable if I got up to leave. I didn’t want to embarrass myself or become a spectacle as everyone turned to see if the big, black, girl could actually fit through the open space between the tables. But those thoughts faded when the conversation shifted toward my blog.
Ironically, we discussed the post, “I Just Recognized My Plus-Size Privilege; Now What Do I Do About It?” I shared with my friend how I’ve wondered if my expressions of self-love are enough to encourage everyone within the plus-size community. But I learned the need for me to display compassion and empathy was a lot closer than I realized.
We discussed the feelings of anxiety a lot of plus-size people face when traveling. As I mentioned earlier, I rode the train into NYC. I wasn’t worried about whether or not I would fit in the seat or if my hips and thighs could potentially touch the person next to me. I also mentioned my visit to the theatre. I didn’t wonder if the seats would accommodate my body. However, these are just two examples of “obstacles” members of my community deal with and I am asking myself, how does reiterating self-love help in these situations?
By no means am I saying self-love isn’t important. I still believe in the need to love ourselves; however, it needs to be accompanied by something else. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out what that something is. It is my desire to be of some help to others where they are now, so this is still a work in progress. Although I found some fault with the aforementioned social media post, I agree that focusing on what I don’t have to endure can push me to take action. Who knows, maybe the existence of the post will not only inspire empathy but ignite change as well.
Until the next time be you—and more important—love you.
Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.
-B.B. 💋
