Is Being Socially Accepted a Necessity?

In a fictitious world with unicorns and mermaids everyone is probably accepted regardless of what they look like and how they choose to live their lives -but, that is not reality. Our world consists of hatred, judgement, ridicule, and non-acceptance which is why I choose to promote love, understanding, celebration, and self-acceptance.

A few weeks ago I saw a quote on social media that caused me to pause momentarily, “The fight for acceptance can only be won by accepting yourself first.” Although I can view this as a true statement, I also wonder why being accepted by others is viewed as a necessity. If you accept yourself why do you need others to as well? Furthermore, if I am longing for someone else to deem me adequate what is the real problem? I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating – everyone is not going to accept, love, or even like you. Moreover, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment if we rely on others to make us feel secure in who we are. Besides, if we are truly accepting of ourselves – will we feel the need to fight for acceptance elsewhere?

Truth be told, do we honestly view everyone we encounter as acceptable, beautiful or even attractive? I don’t, nor do I expect everyone who sees me to view me as acceptable, beautiful or even attractive. I’ve questioned why I feel this way. Could it be because of the rejection and ridicule I endured in my youth, or could it be something deeper? Is it because I am an overweight dark-skinned black woman who has been conditioned to non-acceptance because of these factors?

Fuschia Marycrafts dress from www.amazon.com

I realize there are people in this world who will never view me as beautiful simply because of the color of my skin and my dress size and I accept that. I believe that is why I feel so strongly about self-acceptance. I think my time is better spent learning and loving who I am rather than trying to make others see how wonderful I am. When I was much younger, I didn’t view myself as attractive nor did I believe anyone else would either. So, how did I evolve from being the girl who wanted to hide to a woman who doesn’t shy away from being seen?

It’s simple, I recognized that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am the way I am because this is how God formed me – and He does not make mistakes. I had to decide if I would embrace or reject myself regardless of how others see me. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will not be accepted by the masses. It may be because of my dark skin, my full-figure, my way of thinking, or my overall demeanor. Whatever the reason, I choose to embrace and love me in spite of the non-acceptance of others.

I’ve made a conscious decision to stop using my energy worrying over whether or not I am liked and accepted by other people. I’m focused on ensuring I am liking myself. Am I satisfied with the decisions I make in every aspect of my life? Am I being a good steward with the life I have been blessed to have? Am I being a good daughter, sister, and friend? But most of all, in everything that I do am I being good to me?