“…the right clothes, the right shoes, the right make-up – it hides the flaws we think we have, they make us beautiful to ourselves…that’s what makes us beautiful to others” – Martha Rodgers, Castle

Having insecurities is an intrinsic part of being human, but I think women are more susceptible to being overtaken by them. Not only do I think women are more likely to be engulfed by insecurities, but we are also more likely to be judged by our choices in our fight with those “shortcomings”. Sometimes people try to decipher whether or not someone is masking feelings of inferiority or if they are truly comfortable in their skin, and they’re not always accurate.

Most evenings after work I wind down by watching reruns of Castle on TNT – I seem to have an extreme liking for cop shows, but, I digress – while (half) watching the show the above quote caught my attention. I began to wonder if the choices we make in regards to clothing and make-up are just a mask to suppress how we truly feel. Are we not as comfortable in our skin as we claim to be?

Several months ago I watched a video on YouTube of a young lady demonstrating make-up application techniques. While watching the video, I was in complete awe – her skills are phenomenal! I thought she looked gorgeous, and I was amazed by her work. But, there were some people who weren’t so accepting of the video. Some people felt she was deceitful and misrepresenting herself. There were individuals who stated she wears make-up because she is insecure.

As I stated at the beginning of this post, we all have insecurities, and we all have a way of dealing with them. Being told we are beautiful or anything else positive it good, but ultimately we have to see it and believe it for ourselves – and if we need to put on our “war paint” to see it, so be it. I agree with Martha. Sometimes that perfect outfit gives us that boost of confidence that makes us believe we can do anything. In most cases, when we believe we look good – we feel good. We don’t all share the same insecurities. Where I excel may be your downfall and vice versa. I also believe “the right clothes, the right make-up, and the right shoes” are great vehicles to get us to the place of acceptance and appreciation of ourselves.

I don’t see make-up and clothing as a mechanism to “mask” insecurities, but rather a way to overcome them. I was able to overcome my struggles with insecurities and low self-esteem when I began to take pride in the way I looked and how I presented myself.  Those aforementioned vehicles enabled me to be confident where I hadn’t been before and ultimately altered how I saw myself.

In a nutshell, we are not all wired the same. What works for some may not work for another. So, if Ruby Woo lipstick and that bodycon dress make you feel beautiful, and it allows you to see your beauty – wear it. And if wearing no make-up at all with your palazzo pants and tank make you feel good and beautiful – go for it. Be unapologetically you in what you do – and wear.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

B.B.