When I was younger, I didn’t see myself as beautiful—or even attractive. I’ve shared how awkward and unattractive I felt when I was in middle school and high school but despite how I felt, there were a few guys who were attracted to me. There were two interactions that I recall from my freshman year of high school that underscore what I couldn’t see.

One day I was sitting in the library when one of my male classmates told me the guy with him—a popular junior—wanted to talk to me. I didn’t entertain his statement because I feared if I had, I would become the brunt of a cruel joke. I mean, why would he be interested in me?

The second time occurred in the locker room. One of the girls in my gym class said, “A friend of my boyfriend wants to meet you.” I heard her speaking, but I didn’t think she was talking to me. Again—why would anyone be interested in meeting me?

I didn’t pursue either of those suitors because I couldn’t believe anyone would be attracted to me. My inability to see myself as enough or desirable hindered me from gaining—at a minimum—a friendship. But in addition to that, I robbed myself of something more valuable.

Being viewed as “acceptable” by those two individuals wasn’t enough for me to view myself as such—it shouldn’t have been. Don’t get me wrong I am appreciative of being viewed and classified as beautiful by some; but, it is more meaningful and impactful for me to see it for myself.

I experienced a level of social acceptance during those interactions, but it didn’t positively influence my self-esteem. It caused my fear and doubt about my self-worth to heighten. I wasn’t able to hear it, receive it, and believe it because I didn’t see it.

Being accepted by the masses—or even a handful—can be good for the ego. But if all we have is the validation from others to affirm our worth, what happens when their view of us changes?

We all have the potential to do great things, and sometimes the people in our lives see it before we do. But we don’t fully reach our potential until we believe in ourselves. Having the confidence and positive view of ourselves is essential in being who we are with no apologies. The existence of a healthy level of self-worth established by our thoughts and feelings enables us to dismiss harsh words and behaviors more easily.

I am a fearfully and wonderfully made masterpiece. Sometimes I wish I embraced who I am sooner and loved myself unconditionally, but I realize my eyes opened at the right time and now I am just glad they did.

Until the next time be you—and more important—love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B. 💋

Attribution: “Masterpiece” written by Anthony Bell and Jazmin Sullivan