A few years ago I attended a training course that discussed animals that matched leadership styles – I learned that I am a peacock. This was not surprising to me at all – considering peacocks are identified as showy and like to be the center of attention. If you have been following me, you know I have not always been a peacock. Over the past 20 years, I have learned to embrace and flaunt my beautiful feathers. I’ve come to realize seeing myself positively enables me to combat negativity.

In the world we live in, it’s not always easy for some to walk confidently and proudly as a plus-size woman. There are members of our society who don’t consider us to be attractive, and they would prefer we were not at the forefront of the media and viewed in a positive way.

Fashion model Ms. Ashley Graham is featured on the cover of the latest edition of Sports Illustrated. This is a big deal to some because she is the first size-16 model ever to be on the cover of the magazine. And with most things in life, when there is an outpour of support and positivity there is also the presence of negativity.

I made the decision to read an article about the event and the related comments. Why did I do that? I’ve stated several times before that we are all entitled to our opinions, and we live in a country where we are free to speak out minds, and I am grateful for that fact. But, I really wish people weren’t so mean. When I read the negative words I wondered how it would affect younger generations – and people of all ages for that matter, that are struggling with body image and self-esteem.

I think some people fail to realize that every person that has body fat is not that way because they are greedy and lazy. Be that as it may, I recognize that some people are just cruel, and they don’t care who their words hurt – and, for this reason, I want to encourage people even more.

It is imperative that we surround ourselves with people who strengthen us and speak positively to us. Having a great support system and a wealth of positivity will enable us to fight and overcome negativity. By no means am I saying it will be easy, but it will help. Even though I believe it is great to have the support and love of others – we must be able to encourage ourselves as well. I say this because there are times in life when bad things happen, and we won’t be able to reach the members of our “support team” and we will need something to get us through. Furthermore, we should believe in ourselves and not rely solely on the wonderful statements of others. This can be accomplished through positive affirmation with yourself; by writing it, speaking it, and putting it in action.

For an example, I encourage you to write down the words “I am beautiful” (or whatever you need to affirm) on a piece of paper daily, and speak those words to yourself – daily, then put those words in action – daily. The words are put in action by behaving like what you believe being beautiful is. For instance, I believe being beautiful means walking with your head up high and thinking well of yourself with every step. To me, this behavior demonstrates an “I should be seen” attitude “because I am beautiful.” This action of affirmation brings me back to the peacock.

The times I’ve seen peacocks, I sensed a presence of confidence and high esteem – they know they are beautiful and demonstrate it with their behavior. They make their presence known not only for their stance but also by their sound. Peacocks proudly show their feathers – or who they are, they demand attention. So, what’s the takeaway? Be like the peacock and declare your beauty in spite of what others may say. Affirm boldness and confidence. If you practice this, you will get to the place where you will do it automatically. Remember, we are what we think – and only what you think truly matters.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

B.B.