Is it possible to love ourselves without liking ourselves first?  I believe it is possible to love someone and not like them. Meaning, we can dislike a behavior or characteristic of a person and still love them.  When others display behaviors we are not fond of, we can choose to avoid them – but, we can not avoid ourselves.  It is true we can ignore things we are unhappy about within ourselves for a while, but we will have to address them eventually.

The idea of liking oneself first is important to me for several reasons. Mainly because I want to encourage all people to love and appreciate themselves as they are, and feel good about what they see in the mirror. I share my love for fashion and suggestions for shopping, but I believe in order to truly see ourselves as beautiful/handsome in those outfits – we have to like ourselves for who are inside and out. Confidence is birthed within. Furthermore, what lies beneath has an impact on what is seen on the surface. The lack of self-like will be apparent in how we walk and how we speak. It is true that some people are capable of masking their inner feelings, however the mask will fall off at some point.

I have pondered over the concept of liking oneself first for some time and I hadn’t been sure why. But, a couple of things transpired in the past few days that has inspired me to discuss it.

What do you think about you? What things do you say to yourself when you are alone or with other people? Do you say or think negative things about yourself? Do you allow people to say negative things about you or your appearance – or do you correct them?

A few days ago I almost made a negative statement to myself, but I realized it before I spoke it into the atmosphere. This may sound odd, but I don’t think we realize we are listening when we verbalize our thoughts. Nor do we recognize how hearing those thoughts, good or bad have an effect on our mood and self-esteem. Think about it, when we tell ourselves we look good, we walk with confidence and self-assurance.

I know there are people within our society that have negative things to say about me because of my size. But, I can’t allow that to discourage me or influence me into disliking myself. The truth of the matter is – the only way the words and opinions of others can affect us negatively is if we allow them to.

So, what is the takeaway you ask? Only what we think of ourselves really matters. Generally speaking, people will have negative things to say if they find things that don’t fit into their ideal of how things should be. I know it is not always easy to ignore negative comments – but, if we like ourselves, it will make it a little easier to overlook naysayers. By no means am I trying to convey the idea that we always feel wonderful and cheery – I know I don’t. But, it is imperative that we be mindful of how we treat ourselves. If we aren’t treating ourselves well, we should not expect anyone else to. The way we behave toward ourselves will set the tone of what we will accept from other people.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B.