At some point last week I used the hashtag #bodygoals in a post on social media. I’ve used the hashtag before, but for some reason I began to question what it means to me. The peculiar thing about this is, I started writing about my thoughts concerning the hashtag, but I wasn’t really making a connection with it until I saw the announcement of Nike’s new plus-size line.
When I initially saw the announcement from Nike I was excited, but then I read the negative comments. (big sigh) Will I ever learn? As I read the fat shaming comments and name calling – one question came to my mind; How does my body fat affect you?
I’ve come to the conclusion that we live in a society with an enormous amount of judgmental bullies. In general, our society thrives on trying to make people look and behave certain ways. If you wear extensions you’re trying to be something you are not. If you wear make-up you are insecure. Being fat means you’re a lazy over-eater – and the list goes on. Why are we so focused on what other people are doing? This reminds me of a statement made by the late Thurgood Marshall.
Back in 1991 I watched the local news announcement of Mr. Marshall’s retirement from the Supreme Court. The reporter asked, “What are you going to do now?” I distinctly remember his response, “Go home and mind my business.” We should follow this example.
Considering the fact that living in a bubble is not an option nor will people mind their business, I think it is imperative to learn how to deal with negativity in a healthy way. My method of choice is self-acceptance. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are people in this world who will never embrace me as beautiful. It could be because of the color of my skin or the fact that I have body fat. Whatever the reason may be I cannot allow it to influence me to think negatively toward myself.
The truth of the matter is, numerous people telling me I’m beautiful on a daily basis won’t make an impact until I accept it as truth. Which, brings me to my #bodygoals. I am striving to find the positive in everything about me – internally and externally. By no means am I implying I can accomplish this without error. There are times when I think and speak negatively about myself. So, how can I rebuke others for body shaming when I’m doing to myself? In all honesty, I believe it is much worse coming from me. So, one of my #bodygoals is to stop self-shaming.
I will strive to find the positive instead of speaking negativity. Instead of focusing on the size of my thighs as a bad thing, I will focus on the fact that my jeans wouldn’t fit as nice without them. Yes, my arms are large – but, with them I stir up an amazing shrimp salad.
Consider finding something positive in what you may have labeled a negative. As I stated before, someone is going to say something negative to break you regardless of what you are doing. Don’t be the someone.
Until the next time be you, and most importantly – love you.
Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.
-B.B.
