It amazes me that I have had haters since I was the ripe age of nine. I can recall being told I was not liked because I was stuck up and thought I was cute. It amuses me now, but at the age of nine it hurt. This was the case for a couple of reasons; of course, I wanted to be liked, but what bothered me the most was the fact that my thoughts concerning myself couldn’t have been farther from what was being said about me. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized I wasn’t liked because my haters were the ones who thought I was cute. And in all honesty – I was.

I recall feeling insulted when I was told I thought I was cute. Back then, I didn’t realize there is nothing wrong with thinking I’m cute – in a healthy way. I also remember hearing that phrase, “she thinks she’s cute” in a negative way when I was much older. Why should any woman be faulted for thinking she’s cute? Shouldn’t she think she’s cute? We should all think we are cute!

Even though I was a cute little girl, I didn’t give any thought to it. I wasn’t concerned about the way I looked at all. But, that all changed when I entered the wonderful world of Middle School. Once I started Middle School, I was very much aware and concerned about the way I looked. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the truth. I was wrapped up in what others said about me and how others looked. The truth is – it doesn’t matter how others see me, what matters is how I see myself. I admit that when I started Middle School I hadn’t been exposed to a lot of things. I came from a very small private school that didn’t have more than two classes for each grade – it was very small. The principal, Sister Linda Larsen, knew all of us.

Every morning for school, I knew I was wearing my blue and green plaid jumper, with my white button down Peter Pan collar blouse, red crisscross tie, blue knee high socks, and Penny Loafers. Going to a school where I was allowed to wear whatever I wanted was a different world for me – and it was quite obvious. I remember I had a pair of tennis shoes I loved until one not so fond day. They were pink faux suede high-top knock-off Reeboks called “Finesse.” I distinctly remember a classmate, who will remain nameless, said, “Towanda, what’s the name of your tennis?” I was so embarrassed that I never wore those shoes again. In retrospect, I regret not continuing to wear those shoes. I liked them – that is what mattered, not the fact that I was laughed at because they were knock-off kicks.

If you have been following my blog, you are very much aware of my mantra, “Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful”, which means – in the mind of this buxom beauty – you are beautiful when you are being yourself.

We shouldn’t shy away from liking who we are and what we see in the mirror. Nor should we shy away from letting the world know we like the way we are. The harsh reality is – no matter what we wear, how we look, or what we do, someone will have something to say about it.

As you’ve probably figured out, I am a huge fan of altering the usual and customary – I like to change the perspective. And I want to change the perspective related to thinking well of oneself, which encompasses feeling free to be who you are and wearing what you want. I realize that thinking well of oneself can be dangerous – we don’t want to be vain individuals. However, we should be happy about who we are and celebrate ourselves. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with expressing your individuality with your clothing choices.

I recently read an article by Melissa McCarthy with Kate Coyne in the September 21st edition of People Magazine entitled, “Love The Way You Look!”. In the article, Ms. McCarthy talks about the idea of fashion being fun. Clothing choices say so much about us – they can tell our story for us without words. Our clothing can specify a mood or a feeling, and they definitely allow us to express our creativity and style. We can be conservative one day and mimic a rock star the next.

I haven’t forgotten how humiliated I felt because of the question my nameless classmate asked about my shoes. Be that as it may, I learned a valuable lesson in spite of the embarrassment. It is perfectly fine for me to be preppy, conservative, classic, punk, and glamour girl – because it’s my choice. I choose to wear what I like and what makes me feel cute – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

So, if your pink faux suede knock-off high tops make you feel cute, and you like them – be you and wear them! I may try to find another pair on Amazon.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly… love you

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

B.B.