What comes to mind when you hear the word, love? I immediately think of family and a significant other. To be completely honest, I didn’t immediately think of myself. I think that is the thought pattern for most non-narcissistic people.

As women, we tend to make ourselves last on our list of priorities. “After I give the kids a bath, I’ll have some me time” or “after I make a sandwich for my husband, I’ll take a hot bath”. (Disclaimer – By no means am I telling anyone to neglect their kids and husbands.) However, we shouldn’t give ourselves left-over love.

Most women are natural nurturers. Nurturing is also something that is instilled in us at a young age. I am sure you recall rocking your favorite doll baby – pretending to feed it and loving it unconditionally despite it only had one eye left. We tend to love freely and openly to the point we have little to none left for ourselves. Don’t give all your love away – we are better equipped to love and help others only after we learn how to love ourselves.

Now – what comes to mind when you hear the phrase “in love”?  I immediately think of a relationship with a significant other. Once again, I did not immediately think of myself. I recall being in love for the first time. I remember the happiness and excitement I felt…the pep in my step, the uncontrollable smiling, and loss of appetite. I remember my brother teasing me – “he’s better than Jenny Craig!”. It is a wonderful feeling. But, why think being in love requires another person…why not be in love with ourselves?

 

 

I realize I have used the term self-love numerous times within my posts. However, I hadn’t considered the importance of being “in love” with oneself. We should love ourselves to the point of pure joy just like the feeling we get when we are in love with another person.

This idea sounds beautiful and lovely, right? But, how does one be “in love” with oneself? It is quite simple. Do you remember how frustrating and stressful it was trying to learn how to tie your shoes as a child? Do you also recall the repetitive action of trying to tie the shoelaces eventually enabled you to tie your shoes correctly? All it took was practice.

I know what you’re going to ask – practice what? Practice telling yourself, “I love you”. Practice showing yourself love. I know a lot of times we say negative things to ourselves when we look in the mirror – “I look fat”…”my hair is a mess”…”my thighs are too big”. Let’s speak positively to ourselves. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you”. Tell yourself the things you love about you – “I love my toes”…”I love my booty”. Remember…

Death and life are in the power of the tongue…Proverbs 18:21 KJV

Let’s look at it another way – how do we fall in love we another person? We see something in that person that we find attractive and intriguing, we get to know them, we spend time with them, and in most cases, if we like what we discover – we fall in love. Who says we can’t do the same thing with ourselves?

Take some time and think about yourself. What do you find interesting and intriguing about yourself? Spend some quality time with yourself – take yourself to the movies, to dinner, or to a museum. Get to know you and fall deeply in love.

We show love to ourselves by the things we do and the choices we make. For instance, do we consume things we know aren’t good for us? Are we involved in unhealthy relationships that tear us down instead of building us up? Do we absorb or entertain harmful or useless information that doesn’t benefit us in any way?

If we are not in a healthy state mentally, emotionally, or physically, we should ask ourselves – “is this what I really want for myself?”. I have been in an unhealthy state before in my life. I lost who I was, and I was being torn down mentally and emotionally. I did not truly love myself. I am grateful for a praying mother.

When I didn’t love myself I looked and behaved differently, to the point that the people who knew me then don’t recognize me now – yes, it’s that deep.

Let’s be honest, we know when we are unhappy. We must decide to love ourselves enough to do what is reasonable to love ourselves fully.I vividly remember the very moment the love I have for myself resurfaced. I let go of fear and allowed the love for myself speak to what was tearing me down. I remembered how I used to be and how I used to feel, and I wanted it back. My smile, my walk, and my speech all came back.

We must show ourselves love by eliminating toxic behaviors and relationships. Ask yourself, “is this helping or hurting me?”. I know it’s not easy, remember – I’ve been there. But, you are worth it. Be hopelessly in love with you.

Check out a book I recently read, the link is provided below…I think it will be quite useful.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly… love you…

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

B.B.