Thanks to Avia Venefica author of http://www.whats-your-sign.com/, I learned the peacock has some of the most revered qualities of humans. It symbolizes integrity and the beauty we can achieve when we strive to show who we are. In history, myth, legend, and traditional wisdom, the peacock symbolizes signs of nobility, holiness, guidance, protection, and watchfulness.

I have referenced peacocks in my writing on many occasions. They present an attitude of self-acceptance and self-assurance. To me, they behave as if they know they are beautiful and no one can convince them otherwise. I’ve called myself a peacock because of the confidence and pride they display. Even though I have a high level of confidence, I realize I still look for affirmation.

A few months ago I gave a presentation at work and some of my colleagues commended me on a job well done. I was very appreciative of the accolades and it boosted my self-esteem. However, I noticed something border-line alarming about myself after I gave another presentation about three weeks later – only one person told me how wonderful I was, and subsequently, I began to question myself – why didn’t more people tell me how great I am?Then it occurred to me I was looking for assurance.

Why was I looking for affirmation? Is it a bad thing that I look for praise? Are there other areas in my life where I want affirmation? As I searched for answers to my questions I came to the conclusion that it is not necessarily a bad thing to look for affirmation. Some of us like to hear compliments, they push us and encourage us. I admit that I enjoy receiving compliments.  You can tell me how wonderful and awesome I am anytime. Be that as it may, it can also be dangerous. I mustn’t rely on  the encouragement and praises of others to increase or maintain my self-esteem.

I realize that I need to work on those areas where I doubt myself. By no means am I striving to become a narcissist, but I would like to be comfortable with everything about me.  I am learning the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement. Yes, it is imperative to see ourselves as great human-beings, but there is always room for growth no matter where we are in life.

Recently I read a blog post that focused on the writer’s “flaws.”  In my quest to encourage the author to focus on her positives instead of her negatives, I learned from her too. In order to embrace ourselves fully we must look at ourselves wholly – including things we consider flaws. How can we fix or even accept our “flaws” if we don’t acknowledge them first?

 I am striving to become a better human by not just accepting me as I am, but also realizing the need to accept the need for change in some areas of my life. Because if we are completely honest, self-acceptance also includes admitting when we are wrong.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B.