Should I Care That Some People (and Brands) Find My Fat Body Unattractive?

At some point recently, I read something that altered the algorithm of my newsfeed. I’ve gotten more posts related to “BBWs and the people who love them.” Frankly speaking, it is refreshing to read pieces about plus-size women that are positive. I saw comments from men who are attracted to fuller-figured women, as opposed to expressions of disgust and chastisement—unfortunately, those came later. Although I’ve been exposed to pleasant messages about fat women, the negative and offensive ones haven’t stopped appearing. I saw a post that depicts plus-size women as desperate, easy, and funky. I’m not sure what was more offensive: the words that were written and the accompanying images, or the people who agreed with it. Albeit, I was a bit taken back by what I read, a different article that was intended to be positive for the community made me wonder if I should even care that I’m unwanted by some.

During a scroll through Pinterest, I stumbled upon “Blogger to Abercrombie and Fitch: A&F means ‘Attractive and Fat'” on today.com. In a nutshell, in 2006, then CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch, Mike Jeffries said his business was built around sex appeal. “It’s almost everything. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t want to market to anyone other than that,” Jeffries said. (Hart Duerson, 2013)

The former CEO’s comments were interpreted to mean he was not interested in plus-size women wearing his brand. He later stated what he said was taken out of context. Frankly, that is hard to swallow—even for a fat girl like me—considering the company’s ads and window displays over the years. Furthermore, Mr. Jeffries said, “In every school there are the cool and popular kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes] , and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla, You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody either.” In response to what Mr. Jeffries said, blogger Jes Baker wrote an open letter to him, which included pictures of her letting him know “what he’s missing” and that”A&F” has a different meaning, “Attractive and Fat.” (Lowe, 2020 and Hart Duerson, 2013)

I believe I understand Ms. Baker’s stance and the point she was trying to make, but I cannot say I agree with it. I realize she may not give a damn considering she shared her voice and made it to the Today show, but I can’t help but wonder if this idea sends a message of “you must accept me!” The fact of the matter is we all have preferences, and for some, a fat body isn’t theirs. But guess what? That’s okay! I think we should spend our energy and influence supporting those who accept and include us as opposed to those who don’t. Let’s make their pockets “fatter” by buying their products instead of drawing attention to companies who don’t want our business. Notwithstanding, Jeffries left Abercrombie and Fitch in 2014 and the company has changed its image and marketing, but part of me wonders about the “why” behind the transformation. In my humble opinion, the negative attention companies receive can potentially cause them to create an illusion of inclusivity to avoid looking exclusive and prejudice. The change may genuinely be centered around being more inclusive, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t skeptical.

I’ve decided to entertain those who bring positivity to me in every aspect of my life. If someone doesn’t find me attractive because I’m overweight, that is fine because there is somebody else who does. And if a company doesn’t want my business because they don’t consider me “cool and good-looking,” that’s fine, too. There are plenty of brands and designers who create pieces with me in mind that I can purchase.

Although I’m not in total agreement with trying to convince companies and people to accept bigger bodies, I have to admit the method is working. However, I’d like to see more involvement with finding ways to encourage and uplift the members of our community to feel good about themselves so they won’t be desperate for attention and buy into an illusion of acceptance and love. Let’s figure out how to make the women and men within our community feel loved and accepted within it. I’m open to having conversations on how to do it.