At one point in my life I considered being asked why I am single to be one of the most annoying questions ever, second to the times I was asked why I didn’t wear pants when I was in Middle School. I addressed my thoughts surrounding my “singlehood” in one of my latest My Heels in Life blog posts, so now I will cover the pants inquiries.
When I was in Middle School I was asked why I didn’t wear pants on numerous occasions. It was a fair question, simply because it was out of the ordinary to encounter a kid who didn’t wear blue jeans in those days. Now that I think about it, the fact that I was questioned about it may be one of the main driving factors in my quest for self-acceptance and self-love. I recall just wanting to be considered “normal.” I didn’t have the insight to embrace how I differed from other people, nor did I realize nothing is gained from being labeled or viewed as normal by the world’s standards. But more importantly— I wasn’t created to be classified as normal—I’ve always been different.
Before I turned 11-years-old, not wearing pants wasn’t much of an issue for me. I attended a parochial school through the fifth grade, which required me to wear a uniform. Clothing and what was trending wasn’t important to me. On most days, I knew I was wearing my plaid jumper, white blouse, red tie, knee-high socks, and penny loafers. When I started sixth grade in public school all that changed. I wore denim skirts with off-brand tennis shoes or Sebagos, and I am pretty sure a lot of the kids thought I was strange because of it.
To be perfectly honest, it was hard being weird. I didn’t encounter people who expressed encouraging words about being different, nor do I recall a push for self-acceptance and self-love. But, the main reason why it was hard was because I wanted to be accepted by my peers. My focus wasn’t on embracing my individuality. I wanted to be viewed as a cool and pretty girl—not the weirdo who doesn’t wear pants.
The word peculiar means strange, odd, unusual, particular, or special. When I was younger I viewed being peculiar as a negative thing. And sometimes I wish I demonstrated the gumption to be myself when I was younger. But I realize there is a time for everything.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:3 KJV
Now that I’m older I realize I needed to experience those moments in order to stand today. I think it would have been harder for me to understand the realities of non-acceptance had I been embraced more by my peers when I was younger. I’ve learned the importance of not expecting or hoping to be liked. By no means am I unappreciative of the small portion of the population who do like me, but I am wise enough to know everyone won’t. And it may simply be because I am peculiar.
Until the next time, be you and most importantly—be you.
Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.
-B.B. 💋
