I Cried Yesterday Too Iyanla, and That is Okay

This past Friday afternoon I did something I hadn’t done in quite some time – I cried. It was about 1:00 pm when I acknowledged my feelings of discontent. A few moments passed as I ran different scenarios through my mind in an effort to pinpoint the cause. Being back in Williamsburg, Virginia resurrected some ghosts of my past, but it was during the conversation with my mother, which seems to always be the case – that enabled me to identify the culprit of my sadness.

As I drove to the shopping outlets I pondered over what caused me to feel so low. I called my mother after purchasing some country ham for my father as I was directed to do – and she said, “You sound down in the valley.”

During the preceding days I shared my story of loss and found strength with my colleagues; and at the conclusion of the week long session the facilitator thanked me for sharing it. But, it was the last thing he said that ignited the sadness within me. He said, “Are you a mother? I forgot to wish all the mothers a Happy Mother’s Day.” I repeated the conversation to my mother and I said, “That’s it” – and I started to cry.

While the tears fell, I thought of my sons who never had the opportunity to call me Mommy. I miss them, and on this day their absence hurts. My mother let me cry, after telling me to stop driving – and she prayed for me. In the midst of the prayer my sadness diminished and l was at peace.

As I write this, I am reminded of the importance of staying true myself and my foundation. Every moment of the day may not be joyous, but I have everything I need to get through it. And although losing them is still painful, the fact that I’m still here reassures me and I know I will be okay.