“One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.” Romans 14:5 KJV

When I was a child, and during a portion of my adulthood, I wondered what people thought of me. I wanted to be accepted and thought of fondly – now I want to be at peace with myself.  I wasted too much time concerning myself with what others thought about me. I need to be persuaded in my mind about everything, but foremost about myself.

During Ms. Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Mrs. Obama, she asked how the First Lady felt about being called “an angry Black woman”, her response was very profound. She acknowledged that she was taken back by the comment, but then she realized the person who said it doesn’t know her.

“…this is not about me. It’s about the person who wrote it.” – Michelle Obama

Her statement resonated within me. If a statement is made about us that is untrue there is no reason to allow it to shake us and question who we are.  As Paul told us in the book of Romans, we must be fully convinced in our mind about all things.

Several weeks ago I had a conversation with a coworker about the happiness and comfort level of SBBWs with their bodies. The person I was talking to is a self-proclaimed SBBW, so I found it interesting to hear her say, “I know they are not happy…they can’t be.”

In reality we don’t know what people are thinking or how they feel unless we ask them. Otherwise, we’re just speculating.

“Just remember that sometimes the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are. ” – unknown

The statement that my coworker made about the happiness of SSBBWs was about her – I know this because she told me. And just because she is not happy with herself doesn’t mean another person who is the same size as her is unhappy as well.

We are individuals – single human beings distinct from a group. We may have similarities, but we are not the same.  There are people within our society who will create an idea of who you are. I believe there are some cases where this is an act of projection of how they feel about themselves or something they may be lacking. But, I want to encourage you with the words of the Apostle Paul.

Know who you are and walk in that truth. By no means am I implying this act will end accusations of others, but it will equip us to combat it. When we are satisfied in our minds about who we are and what we stand for it is harder to be broken. You may bend, but you won’t break. I encourage you to concentrate on who you are and how you feel about you. It will strengthen and enable you to overcome claims of negativity.

Until the next time, be you and most importantly – love you.

Being uniquely you is being uniquely beautiful.

-B.B.